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"Mein Herr" by Victoria Beckham (Performed by MADMAD)

::squeezes into her skin tight corset and fishnets, trying for just a second to catch her breath and put on makeup and her hair extensions and listens for her cue before swooping out onto the stage and assuming a very affected position::

You have to understand the way I am,
Mein Herr.
A tiger is a tiger, not a lamb.
Mein Herr.
You'll never turn the vinegar to jam,
Mein Herr.
So I do...
What I do...
When I'm through...
Then I'm through...
And I'm through...
Toodle-oo!
Bye-Bye, Mein Lieber Herr.
Farewell, mein Lieber Herr.
It was a fine affair,
But now it's over.
And though I used to care,
I need the open air.
You're better off without me,
Mein Herr.

Don't dab your eye, mein Herr,
Or wonder why, Mein Herr.
I've always told you I was a rover.
You mustn't knit your brow,
You should have known by now
You'd every cause to doubt me,
Mein, Herr.

The continent of Europe is so wide,
Mein Herr.
Not only up and down, but side to side,
Mein Herr.
I couldn't ever cross it if I tried,
Mein Herr.
So I do..
What I can...
Inch by inch...
Step by step...
Mile by mile...
Man by man.

Bye-Bye, Mein Lieber Herr.
Farewell, mein Lieber Herr.
It was a fine affair,
But now it's over.
And though I used to care,
I need the open air.
You're better off without me,
Mein Herr.

[MADDIE AND GIRLS]
Don't dab your eye, mein Herr,
Or wonder why, Mein Herr.
I've always told you I was a rover.
You mustn't knit your brow,
You should have known by now
You'd every cause to doubt me,
Mein, Herr.

Bye-bye, mein Lieber Herr,
Auf wiedersehen, mein Herr.
Es war sehr gut, mein Herr
Und vorbei.
Du kennst mich wohl, mein Herr,
Ach, lebe wohl, mein Herr.
Du sollst mich nicht mehr sehen,
Mein Herr.

[MADDIE]
Bye-bye, mein Lieber
[GIRLS]
Bye-bye, mein
Lieber Herr
[SALLY]
Herr...
[GIRLS]
Auf weidersehen,
Mein Herr.
Es war sehr gut,
[MADDIE]
Und Vorbei.
[GIRLS]
Mein Herr
Und vorbei.

[MADDIE]
Du kennst
Mich wohl,
[GIRLS]
Du kennst mich,
Wohl, mein
Herr,

[MADDIE]
Mein Herr...
[GIRLS]
Ach, lebe
Wohl, mein
Herr.
Du sollst mich
Nicht mehr
Sehen,
[MADDIE]
And bye-bye

[MADDIE AND GIRLS]
Bye-Bye, Mein Lieber Herr;
Farewell, mein Lieber Herr.
It was a fine affair,
But now it's over.
And though I-
Used to care,
I need the-
Open air.

[MADDIE]
You're better off
Without me,
[GIRLS]
Auf wiedersehen...
[MADDIE]
You'll get on
Without me
[GIRLS]
Es war sehr gut...
[MADDIE]
Mein
[GIRLS]
Du kennst nicht
[MADDIE]
Herr...
[GIRLS]
Wohl...
Ach, lebe wohl!

Bye bye, mein
[MADDIE]
Herr,...
[GIRLS]
Auf wiedersehen,...
Bye bye mein Herr!